Being in a healthy relationship requires effort from both partners. One significant factor in having a healthy relationship is emotional intelligence and being emotionally available. This factor is not recognized within a lot of relationships because some people are not familiar with what this means.
Let’s take a deeper dive into what being emotionally intelligent and emotionally unavailable means in a relationship.
A Real Story
Imagine you are in a happy relationship and nothing could go wrong. You are living your best life. One day you and your partner get into an argument. You start arguing with one another and then you try to resolve the problem, but your partner doesn’t hear you out. Your partner just sticks to their own opinions and they aren’t giving you any room to express how you feel.
They make you feel a bit bad about yourself because they might make themselves the victim. You don’t want to argue anymore so you just say they are right. You realize that they don’t really hear you out and they do care for you, but inside you feel drained because they aren’t seeing both sides, just theirs.
Deeper Thinking
If you have experienced that then that might be a sign that you were with someone with low emotional intelligence. It can be hard to be with someone who has this because it can feel mentally draining. Having emotional intelligence means understanding your own emotions and how you feel, but also seeing the emotions of others and considering what they feel and think.
You can’t just be emotionally intelligent, it doesn’t work like that. Some factors go into being emotionally intelligent. You have to be self-aware. You can’t just think about yourself. Realize how others might be feeling and try to hear their side.
After you realize how others feel, be empathetic. Everyone wants to be seen, even if they tell you how they feel and you’re not sure to how respond, just comfort them like how you would want to be comforted.
Be There For Them
Another factor in being emotionally intelligent is to be emotionally available. The first step to being available is to be open about your feelings. This can be hard for some people because they can have a fear of judgment. Just know if your partner has a hard time opening up, it’s not you. They might just be scared of being judged and being vulnerable.
This is just something that takes time. You can’t rush these types of things. Sometimes being emotionally available can be hard because there might be a deeper root to why they aren’t available. If you talk about this with your partner, they will feel seen and safe if you aren’t pressuring them to open up. It’s a process but if you care about your partner, don’t just give up and blame them, work with them.
It’s all about the golden rule. Treat others how you want to be treated. It is all about understanding each other and talking about things that may be a touchy subject.
Let us know your thoughts on being emotionally intelligent in a relationship by tagging us @VALLEYmag on X!
