In a person’s life, there are many things that we experience for the first time, some are more remarkable than others. So, how do we define those “Roman Empire” moments and what distinguishes them from everything else? These moments can be defined by how they play a role in shaping who you are and how you interact with the world around you.
These moments include your first relationship, your first love, your first heartbreak, your first ex-best friend and your first time having a sexual relationship. These moments are so individually special and while some may be painful, there is beauty to them, we have to look deeper.
Dear First Relationship,
This stage happens at different times for everyone. It may have been in middle school, high school, or college. This is important to note because if your first relationship was in middle school, it is very likely that it was not love. However, this is a very important first time. Many people are anxious for it to come as it marks the beginning of your dating history.
There seems to be this sort of pressure to get into your first relationship. This is a beautiful and innocent first, it teaches you a lot about who you are in a relationship and often guides you towards the people you want to attract.
It is important to remember that everyone has a different experience when it comes to dating and this is not a stage that needs to be rushed. Whatever is meant to happen for you in your love life will. And remember, the first relationship is all about learning and good memories so we thank it for that.
Dear First Love,
Love can come in many shapes and sizes. It does not always coincide with your first relationship. That is because for some people their first relationship was at a young age when love was not a concept we fully understood. This stage comes with a lot of passion and emotions and could lead to a lot of hurt once it ends. This person is often life-changing.
Everyone has a soft spot for their first love. We learn a lot from this person, we mature in many ways and we have a lot to thank them for. Having your first love stems a lot from having love for yourself. Once you master loving yourself and what love feels like for you, your relationships will flourish and your love will be deeper for others.
Dear First Time,
This is another stage that comes in at different times for different people. One thing about society is that when it comes to the time that a boy loses his virginity, he is often praised and celebrated whereas girls are often criticized and questioned. It’s an important first and there are a lot of factors that play into going through with it.
Whether it’s pressure from society, a person, or true love, it is a memorable experience. This is also one of those stages that is the stepping stone to how you are in relationships sexually. Are you the type who feels deeply, or prefers something casual?
Dear First Heartbreak,
Unfortunately for a lot of people, your first heartbreak is not your last. It’s hard, it hurts and each one feels different. But that very first heartbreak is memorable because of how difficult it is. Of course, when you enter a relationship you don’t think of when it is going to end; so if and when it eventually does end, it has the power to break your heart.
There are different coping mechanisms for heartbreaks that work for everyone just the same. During your first heartbreak, you will learn whether you are the type of person who wallows or who likes to go out and be distracted. You learn if you eat your way through the hurt, or if you hold an empty pit in your stomach. This heartbreak can last days, weeks, or months. The first heartbreak is difficult, but you learn a lot about yourself through the process.
Dear First Ex-Best Friend,
Having a big falling out with your friend is really hurtful. Sometimes, losing your best friend hurts more than breaking up with a romantic partner. Friendship breakups can happen slowly, two people drift apart, or it can happen dramatically with a huge fight. Either way, it stings and it is hard to manage.
The hardest part of losing your friend is the time a few months in the future when you realize the person you once were inseparable from is now a stranger. Sometimes in friend-breakups, neither party reaches out to talk about what happened so we are left with a huge confusion which is why we often think about this event for long periods.
Dear Everything Else,
In life, we will experience and relive many things. With the right people and in the right moment all of these first times can feel new again. It is important to make peace with them so you can move on and focus on your strengths.
Tell VALLEY what your “Roman Empire” is by tweeting @VALLEYmag on X!
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