Every month I watch the same message from the same group chat light up my phone screen. The message comes from my hometown friends and I’s group chat, skillfully named “minions assemble” (because if you have a normal group chat name are you really friends?). Every month without fail one of the four girls in said group chat sends the “When is everyone free to call?” text. The responses trickle in, and almost always it takes at least a week minimum before we can find a time that all four girls can answer a call.
Maintaining long-distance friendships can be tough, and it is something that we all go through during our college years and beyond. Especially transitioning from high school to college, distance can be a jarring and scary shift in our relationships. You go from seeing the same people every day and being a part of each other’s daily routines to suddenly being miles apart and living lives totally separate from each other. This does not mean that maintaining long-distance friendships is impossible, quite the opposite! There are just a few key things to keep in mind along the way.
Life can get in the way
Life gets busy fast, and it can be hard to find time in our lives to keep in touch with those back home as often as we would like. College is the biggest test for your childhood relationships as you are all moving onto a new chapter in your life. You are often living in a new place and meeting tons of new people. You are growing and changing as a person, but the cool thing is that your friends are growing right along with you. Remember that it is going to be hard to strike a balance between your life back home and at college. Don’t be scared if it takes you some time!
Making the time
The hardest part about maintaining long-distance friendships is finding time. Losing touch with our friends back home is not due to no longer wanting to maintain that relationship, but instead just getting lost in the hectic nature of our lives. Life moves so fast that it can be easy to get lost in your responsibilities. Don’t feel guilty for this! It does not make you a bad friend! It is important to remember that all of your friends are feeling the same way, and they can relate to this feeling as well.
Give each other Grace
VALLEY knows it can be hard to balance time between your new life at college and your friends back home. The most important thing to remember is to give yourself and your friends grace and be empathetic to your situation. Your best friend from back home forgetting to text you back or not being able to answer a phone call does NOT mean that they are forgetting about you or do not value your friendship. Life just gets busy, and it is important to take things with a grain of salt sometimes.
When have you struggled to maintain a long-distance friendship? How did you strike the balance between hometown and college friends? Let us know by mentioning @VALLEYmag on X!
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