For a lot of people, college can be a transformative time where you can find your true self and lifelong friends, so why does it feel like everyone else around me is succeeding and I can’t seem to catch a break? Maybe you feel this way too — classes are under control, relationships and friendships are thriving and your future is right in front of you but you just can’t shake the weird vibes. As frustrating as it sounds, the problem in your life might be yourself. Maybe the only thing you need to fix is the way you perceive what’s around you.
Mindset is Everything
The way you perceive your own life is unique, it’s your mindset: it is assumptions and expectations about people and things, including yourself! In college it can feel so easy to fall into the negatives; someone in your class bragging about an internship they’ve secured or your best friend’s ‘perfect’ relationship while you’re still stuck on delivered. Dwelling on the past and the who-has-what mindset leaves us in panic mode, we are constantly stressed out trying to compare ourselves to every person in the room.
There are some days where you wake up late, forget all about that exam or just can’t seem to put an outfit together for the life of you. Those days seem to prove to be the hardest in terms of positive mindsets. When you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, it’s hard to smile through the pain.
What you focus on will become your attitude. At the end of the day instead of counting all the things that went wrong, focus on all the things that went right, even if they’re little. Proactivity is key – if you know your morning has been off the rails, reward yourself with a coffee or sweet treat as a pick me up!
Who You’re Around is Who You Are
In college, you are constantly moving between class groups, clubs, friend groups, and a million other combinations of people. Sometimes it feels like we change our personalities and who we are depending on the people we are surrounded by.
Of course, we’ve all heard the quote about becoming a combination of the 5 people you are around the most and even though it’s cliche, it is incredibly true. Whether it’s just one friend or an entire group bringing the whole vibe down, it hits deep.
You have to ask yourself, who do I want to be? Who am I around when I feel like my truest, happiest self?
On a campus with so many people who are doing five million different things, it is easy to feel overwhelmed with the idea that you aren’t doing enough, but perspective and confidence is key! Gratitude and positivity will lead to a feeling of fulfillment in your life, even after college.
Have other ways you promote positivity and confidence? Tag @valleymag on X with all your tips and tricks!
