Bad Ideas: Living with BFFs

Have you ever heard the advice, “Don’t live with your best friend”? In some cases, best friends as roommates work out perfectly. In others, not so much.

Living in such close quarters with your best friend can make it easy to bump heads. You might find yourself realizing that maybe you didn’t know your BFF as well as you thought. But never fear, almost every relationship can be salvaged as long as you are both on the same page from the start.

Before moving in, it might be a good idea for you to communicate your options. Things like rent, house rules and the purchasing of household items can be serious deal breakers. These seemingly small issues can lead to huge fallouts later, so it’s a good idea to get them out of the way first.

Once you’re all settled in and every decoration is perfectly placed, the most important aspect of being roomies comes into play. Respect. It is important to respect your best friend and her belongings over everything. This is easy and you can just use common sense. For example, would you want someone sifting through your clothes and wearing the new shirt you had planned for the night without asking you? Of course not. Use the golden rule and your best judgment.

If you find yourself angry or irritated towards your new roomie, it’s okay to let her know. If you don’t communicate openly, chances are your anger will keep building up and neither of you will be happy. The key to this conversation is to stay calm. Don’t attack your friend, because chances are she doesn’t know that whatever she’s doing is bothering you. Using the clothes example, try the line, “Hey, its okay if you want to wear my clothes, but could you please ask me before you take something?” This way your BFF won’t feel the hostility you may have and will recognize that she needs to make a change.

If your attempts at making peace fail it might be time to take a step back. Don’t live together for the upcoming semester and give each other a little time and space. After you feel that you have cooled off, think about why you became friends in the first place. Reach out to your BFF when you’re ready and your relationship can begin to rebuild itself.

Photo by Shreel Parikh