College Crisis: Fixing What Isn’t Broken

Our college years are full of dramatic “I’m not a grown up!” moments- mostly unexpected, and typically unwanted. Anonymous Valley writers discuss it all, from avoiding basic responsibilities to dealing with the big, bad future. Let’s talk about it.

Penn State is not only a place to pursue your academics for four years, but it also could be the place where you fall in love.

With over 40,000 diverse students here at University Park, it’s not exactly surprising that one can find that special someone here. And that’s exactly what happened to me—and pretty quickly.

I came to school already committed to another boy. Although I didn’t know it then, I met the love of my life fairly quickly into my first semester here. He and I clicked instantly and soon became best friends. We’ve all heard the saying, “You’ll find what you’re looking for when you least expect it.” Well, that saying describes my life perfectly. It was a whirlwind relationship.

He and I fell in love after an amazing month of spending every day together. Through a mixture of quality talks and laughs, having classes together and going out on the weekends. It seemed perfect. Sounds like a match made in heaven right?

Well, when it came time to break the news to my family, they reacted in the worst possible way. Not only did they not approve, they didn’t even know anything about the boy I was in love with. Instead of positivity and support, I was torn and broken apart.

He and I suffered our fair share of ups and downs throughout the relationship, but deep in my heart I knew I wasn’t making everyone that I truly cared about happy, including myself. I am a very big people pleaser, so this was the worst possible situation.

The hurt became extreme to the point where I was forced to do what I never wanted to do—end it.

My mouth uttered words to him that my heart wanted to swallow. None of what I said to him was true, but it’s what I felt like everyone else wanted me to say.

Both of our hearts were broken.

In the end, it occurred to me that you don’t break a good thing that isn’t broken just to make other people happy. In life there are going to be hard decisions to make and people will come and go, but emotions are forever.

My emotion stands strong still to this day. Ultimately, it’s my life and I have to do what makes me happy (you only live once, right)?

Because, really, your approval is the only one that matters in the end.

Photographed by Deka Goodie