I never expected to be that girl. The girl who cheats– or, I guess, helps another cheat. I never wanted to feel like a homewrecker or a harlot, or quite explicitly, like a whore. But here I am. The other woman.
It all started out pretty innocently, if I’m being honest. We were coworkers, who became close friends, who eventually, ended up making terrible decisions together. I knew him before I knew his girlfriend, but I still know deep down I betrayed the ultimate girl code– don’t sleep with another girl’s boyfriend. No. Matter. What.
Despite knowing this, and how wrong it all would be, it still happened, and I still feel terrible. I could try to take the easy way out and blame it on the copious amounts of alcohol consumed and the fact that he made the first move, but I’d only be lying to myself if I pretended I didn’t know what I was doing. The worst part of the situation was knowing that I’m not the only one. He’s cheated before, and will probably cheat again and I can’t even resent him for that because in turn– I’d be a hypocrite.
In the end there’s nothing to do but come to terms with my actions, accept them and most importantly, learn from them. At first it seemed easy to beat myself up about it and moan to my therapist about how I’m such a terrible person, but in the end I know I’m not. No one is.
It was easy to be swayed by the comfort that our friendship provided, but now that friendship isn’t even there. Hooking up with him, for a multitude of obvious reasons, made everything a mess and now we aren’t even friends anymore. None of it was worth it and I accept that. The real victim in it all is his girlfriend who did nothing to deserve the betrayal and who I can’t even help because I’m just as guilty.
Overall no matter who you are, it’s important to know that despite how terrible you think you are, I promise, you’re not. We’re only human and we’re only college students. These missteps are our rite of passage. We all make mistakes, and we all have to be mature and learn from them. It doesn’t serve anyone good to never develop as a result of bad decisions. In the end, even if I had to learn the hard way, I’m glad I did.
