College Crisis: The Clingy Roommate

Our college years are full of dramatic “I’m not a grown up!” moments- mostly unexpected, and typically unwanted. Anonymous Valley writers discuss it all, from avoiding basic responsibilities to dealing with the big, bad future. Let’s talk about it.

If you and your roommate immediately hit it off, consider yourself lucky.  Your roommate is the friend that’s always there when you need them, your own talking mirror who let’s you know if your outfit is a hit or miss and your automatic wingman whenever you go out.

But like everything else, good things have to be done in moderation if you want it to last.  Here are some helpful tips to prevent you from creating the roommate you can’t get away from.

Keep your friend groups separate  

Having different friend groups can provide the time for you and your roommate to have time apart.  What is there to talk about if you guys share every experience together?  In a case when you and your roommate get into an argument, different friend groups are ideal so you’re friends don’t feel obligated to choose sides.

Set boundaries

Don’t have an “anything goes” type of relationship. A relationship without boundaries can cause unwanted company, missing clothing and lack of communication.  Be clear about what’s cool and what’s not.  It’s ok to say no every once in a while but it’s best to set these boundaries earlier in the relationship.

Don’t take advantage of her company

Using your roommates company whenever you’re bored or when your friends cancelled plans gives off the perception that you’re always available and always ready to hang out.  This situation can also back fire on you when your roommate knocks on your door whenever she’s bored.  Make the times you spend with your roommate count.

Let her know how you feel

Sometimes giving her the cold shoulder or ignoring her text messages can just make things worse.  Let her know that you’re going to be busy this week or hanging out with friends in advance. This allows your roommate to make plans of her own or expect you to be busy.

Don’t tell her she’s clingy

Chances are, your roommate doesn’t know how clingy she really is- but don’t pull a Regina George and ask her, “Why are you so obsessed with me?”  She is not obsessed with you.  You’re just a really cool person she likes to hang out with you lives right next to her.  Cut her some slack.

Photo by Jose Ponte