It happened in sixth grade. My first pimple. For all of middle school, it was always there, front and center on my chin. No one else I knew had even a hint of acne yet … and this was only the beginning. The summer before I was starting high school it started to spread all over my face. Great timing, right? I went into high school, the most insecure I’d ever been. It’s already a time when you question everything about yourself and I was working overtime in that department. I tried every cream, cleanser and mask I could get my hands on and I saw no results.
About two months before Covid hit and the world went into lockdown, I started taking Accutane. A treatment for acne that’s in pill form and taken orally. It’s a type of retinoid medication that treats severe acne. The side effects are intense (dry skin, dry eyes and dry lips) and the process is a burden (monthly appointments and regular blood tests). But I was so determined to have clear skin that I would do anything. It worked, as it does for 85% of people who take the drug … to a degree. Now that I am a sophomore in college and on my third round of Accutane in the past 4 years, I would still sing its praises. Every time I tried to stop taking it, acne kept coming for me.
Mental Health
If you’ve never had acne, you may not realize the toll it can take on a person’s mental health. Taking that potent of a medication three times in the span of 4 years is a tell-tale sign I was struggling. But again, I would do anything to get rid of the acne and the feelings of insecurity it brought me. The feeling of not recognizing yourself and covering every inch of your face is exhausting. It looks like it’s swallowing your face with every little red bump.
It can be hard to face the day. Quickly running to cover yourself in concealer and foundation, though you’ll know it’ll never cover the texture and will only make the acne worse. I’ve tried it all and I could never truly cover it. This caused extreme self-consciousness that I could not shake.
You’re Not Alone
I’m not going to just sit here and tell you you’re beautiful with or without acne. I know that’s not what you want to hear. But I will say is that you that you’re not alone and that it’s normal. Acne is normal. Just like you, people attempt to cover it, edit their pictures, and do just about anything to hide it.
Small Steps
The first step begins with not hiding it so much. Start by going to class without as much makeup on. Make yourself comfortable with the way you look because everyone should be comfortable in their skin. Try to embrace these reminders when you look in the mirror. After all, no one truly notices your acne except you.
Tweet us, @VALLEYmag, on what you do to feel confident with acne!
Amazing!