The feeling of falling behind: a universal experience. Everyone has an aspect of their life that they’re insecure about, something that they are ashamed to admit to others. How could you not be when you open Instagram to other people’s highlight reels and compare your perceived shortcomings to their well-rounded perfection?
The Internship
You open LinkedIn and see those five classic words: “I am thrilled to announce…” Here we go again. Another one of your acquaintances has secured an amazing internship working as a photographer for a professional sports team, an intern at a high-profile bank or some other impressive role. You sigh and shake your head. Maybe you even get that feeling in your stomach. That gnawing feeling that hits when you see someone doing something you know you have the potential for but can’t seem to get for yourself.
You scroll to the next post and see… “I am thrilled to announce that I have secured an amazing opportunity that is going to put me ahead of all my peers and I’ll look great doing it.” Alright, it might not say that exactly, but it might as well with how it makes you feel. You immediately second-guess yourself. Suddenly, you’re not doing enough.
The Relationship
The same feeling often arises when we view people’s relationships from an outside perspective. We see couples walking down the street holding hands or our friends spending time with their girlfriends or boyfriends and that gnawing feeling returns. “How has this person developed such amazing relationships in their life, and I can’t even find myself a boyfriend?” Hyper-focusing on finding connections to validate your need to feel worthy of love is not a healthy approach.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, everyone always seems to have it all together. They post cool photos from their interesting internships to their LinkedIn while you spend all summer working as a waitress. They have a new boyfriend every couple of months when you’ve never had one. They have interesting hobbies that they’re great at while you’re still trying to figure out what your passions are. It’s easy to get down on yourself when you’re comparing yourself to the carefully curated life that people show in public and on social media.
Everyone has a side of themselves that they don’t want to show. And that’s just it: it’s usually the part of themselves that they don’t broadcast to the world. So, when we look at people’s lives and feel bad about ourselves because they’re doing something better, remember that they have sensitivities too. There is something that they feel inexperienced about.
Never let assumptions dictate your inner monologue. Your thoughts should be telling you every day, in any situation, that not having your desired opportunities or friendships or romantic relationships is simply an area of your life that will eventually change for the better. Wanting and wishing you had everyone else’s expertise is simply a waste of time that you could instead use to be present, enjoying the stage you’re in.
How do you learn to love every aspect of yourself? Let us know on Instagram @VALLEYmag.
