It’s common to associate heartbreak with relationships ending. The confusion, resentment and grief towards a person you once loved can tear you apart. While romantic connections come and go, you always have one thing to rely on: your friends. The people you are closest with are your emotional backbone and are there for you through everything. When these connections end, however, the pain can be worse than any breakup.
Nobody knows you better than your closest circle. Friendships can span years and are filled with endless memories, laughter, and growth. People naturally drift apart, and while you see them slowly turn into strangers you still hope the best for them. Those endings may be bittersweet, but you know it was all in timing. Unlike naturally drifting, a jagged ending brought on by an abrupt fight or changes in behavior can leave you feeling hurt and betrayed without reason.
Cut Off
When someone immediately cuts all contact it can feel as if you were suffering the death of a loved one. All of a sudden someone you cared so deeply for is no longer in your life. It’s not just about losing their presence, but the thoughts of them you carried. It’s painful to realize you will not be able to create more experiences with this friend in the future, leaving the past all you have to remember them by.
Where Did It All Go Wrong?
Romantic relationships are much more structured than friendships. It is common courtesy to tell a person why the relationship is ending, and it is normal to receive the closure you deserve. However, friends don’t necessarily feel like they owe you that. The dynamic is more fluid than a relationship and regardless of how close the bond they can walk out of your life leaving you confused and hurt.
Accepting that you are no longer in someone’s life takes time and acceptance. While you can try to think of what went wrong time and time again you will never truly know. It is challenging to understand others’ actions when sometimes they come without reason. Coupled with the lack of closure relative to a relationship, this can lead to overthinking and insecurities with future friendships.
Friend Group Dynamics
Usually falling outs involve more than two parties. Unlike if a romance ends, close-knit friend groups will be directly affected by a friendship breakup as well. Outside opinions fueling the situation only make matters worse and heighten already intense emotions. When losing a significant other usually all else stays the same, but with a friend it can feel like you are losing your closest circle too. The awkwardness of a fight can ruin group dynamics and distance everyone, only making adjusting to this new change all the more difficult.
Coming to terms with the loss of someone once considered family is no easy feat. Their absence can leave lasting damage that has you questioning where it all went wrong. It’s okay to feel this way. People change, and you can not control how others act, but you can choose how you respond. Take the time to heal, and let this experience help strengthen all of your other friendships. Allow yourself to be grateful for them and honor your more fulfilling friendships.
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