Gym Clothes Decoded

What you wear to the gym doesn’t seem like something that would really take a lot of thought; you’re going to work out, so you’re going to sweat, so you’d probably throw on some clothes you don’t care about and call it a day. However, upon entering the White Building or Rec Hall, the number of people wearing actual workout clothes is slim when compared to the other outfit options. Let’s break them down:

The Cut-Off Bro

You’re wearing some kind of old LAX team t-shirt or a Greek letters shirt that you’ve cut the sleeves off of to show off your guns and rippling obliques. You’re toting a bottle of pre-workout and you’re probably benching about 200 pounds but doing 4 reps, you know, just to bulk up. Interestingly enough, you spend more time sort of loitering by the weights with your friends watching girls than you do actually lifting. If this is you, I have one question for you: did you cut that shirt yourself?

The Fashionista

For some girls, going to the gym is more about looking good than getting a good work out. If this is you, you’re wearing a tiny workout tank top or cut off shirt and booty shorts. And most importantly, you’re not sweating. You spend about an hour at the gym just kind of walking on the elliptical, sitting on the leg machine, or sitting on the ab mat, just texting. You may or may not be in full makeup. I have to guess that the reason you’re at the gym is to meet guys, and that’s totally fine, it’s just that you’re making me look bad in my gross sweaty t-shirt, so thanks for that.

**Related to this: The Lulu Lemon Elliptical Girl

If this is you: Why did you spend $98 on those pants just to go on the elliptical with a resistance of 2 for 15 minutes?

Regular Clothes?

On occasion, there’s a group of people at the gym who look like they just decided to walk in and have a work out on a whim. You might be wearing a long sleeve cotton shirt, or hoodie and cargo shorts or even jeans. You mostly sit on the machines and text, which is reasonable because who’s going to sweat in their regular daytime clothes? But sometimes you really work out, and you’re just sweating in your jeans…what the what??

Photo by Lauren Matakas