Disagreements are full of emotion and in the heat of the moment, anything goes. Arguments in person are one thing, but conflict over text brings a new obstacle. Not seeing someone face to face usually leads to bolder and harsher confrontations, and once the situation cools down those words can’t be taken back. When everything is said and done did you mean all that you said? In waiting to calm down, you can avoid regret and grow as a person.
Clear Heads
During an argument, our judgment is clouded by strong emotions. It can feel like the end of the world no matter how big the situation is. Whether it’s a confrontation or just someone frustrating you, it is tempting to send a text calling them out. Take a step back for a moment and look through a different perspective. Let yourself sit with those feelings, do you still feel as angry in a day, in an hour? Allow yourself to calm down you can look at things level-headed. If you still feel that way go on and express how you feel, if things changed be thankful you waited.
Instant Regret
Say you send the paragraph without waiting. It happens to everyone, a reckless text and then feelings of regret inevitability seeping in as each minute passes. Everything will be alright. Now is the time to relax, don’t dig a deeper hole. An argument is temporary, follow up with a collected reply and keep your chin up.
Techniques to Calm Down
It is easier said than done to step away during an argument. Start with some deep breaths and put your phone down. It’s a simple way to relax before taking any further action. Once your mind feels clear it’s always good to go in with a well-thought-out response. Drafting a message you can decide what you want to get out of your reply. Do you want to express how you feel? To come up with a solution? Even asking outside parties can help you send something clear and direct without sounding harsh or irrational.
Problem Solver
Waiting helps promote emotional clarity. This improved focus on situations allows you to look at things differently. Calming down you can not only find potential solutions but underlying issues as well. This outlook not only deescalates situations but can strengthen your relationships and show maturity.
In a world where communication through technology is so prominent it is important to remember the downside. You can’t see people’s expressions, tone, and meaning through a screen. In arguments, this causes incredible difficulty in getting your point across as well as understanding others. By remaining collected you ensure clear communication and avoid escalating the situation. Next time you find yourself with a paragraph written and your finger hovering over the send button take a step back. A quick pause is more effective than you will ever expect.
Have other ways to calm down during an argument? Tag @valleymag on X with your tips!
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