Nobody likes a bragger. But sometimes it’s essential to talk yourself up and showcase all the great things you do. What if your inability to show off your skills or showcase your accomplishments is holding you back? Fears of bragging strike us all — we don’t want to seem like a jerk — but showing off things you’re proud of shouldn’t be seen as you being a bragger. If you do it the right way, it won’t be.
Everyone has something they can be proud of. Whether that be getting a job offer or promotion, receiving an A on an exam or learning a new skill you never thought you would. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of yourself and wanting to show it off to others. The problem becomes when you start showing off instead of showing your pride. Many of us are conditioned to avoid sharing our wins because we don’t want to sound “braggy” or “arrogant.” Instead of hiding our accomplishments, though, we should be sharing them. So, how do you get the best of both worlds?
It’s important to tout your wins in ways that are graceful, gracious and effective. You must be helpful but not jerky, proud but not arrogant and happy but not over the top. There is a way to do this, and VALLEY has some tips to ensure the next time you share a personal win, it’s done in the best way possible.
Be Grateful
Acknowledge your success, but also emphasize the fact that success is not a given. If you display your wins in a tone that shows you’re as surprised as the listener with how far you’ve come, it shows how grateful you are to be in this position. Be candid about what it took to get you there and why you’re appreciative. Be humble. Showing sincere gratitude for your wins makes the listener feel like they should be proud as well.
Avoid Humblebragging
Faking humility fools no one. A humble brag is when someone shares something about themselves that is camouflaged using a complaint or a self-deprecating joke. People use the statement to draw attention to whatever they’re proud of. A research study from Harvard Business School even found that humble braggers are seen as less competent and more unlikeable than people who just boasted about their accomplishments. It’s okay to share your wins; it’s not okay to cover it up with a complaint.
Own Your Story/Be Personal
When talking about your success, be open about the struggles and hardships you faced getting there. No one has a linear line to success. It’s usually filled with peaks and valleys and some missteps. That’s okay to talk about too! Sharing your full journey, not just the good parts, allows people to root for you and be proud of what you’ve done. It’s easy to sound like a jerk when you fail to acknowledge any struggles you’ve faced.
At the same time, try to make a personal connection with whoever you’re talking to. The most memorable thing about you to someone might not be a professional achievement. It might just be a similarity that gives you a commonality. Since you’ve connected with someone on a more personal level — whatever it might be — it makes for a more natural conversation, and if your accomplishments do come up later, it will be less likely to be seen as bragging.
Be Supportive
If you’re constantly celebrating others and supporting their wins, then the people around you are less likely to get annoyed or think badly if you share your own. It’s important to celebrate your accomplishments and the accomplishments of the people around you. When someone does something good or shares a personal win, show support and celebrate with them. If you do this often, they are likely to do the same with you when you accomplish something! A golden rule about bragging: treat others the way you want to be treated.
Think About Timing
There is a time and place for everything, especially bragging. Be aware of the context of a conversation before you start sharing your wins or accomplishments. A couple of tips: don’t share your success when someone is sharing hardships, and don’t try to overshadow someone else’s accomplishments with your own. Put yourself in the situation and realize how you would feel if someone did that to you. It’s okay to brag about yourself sometimes but realize when it’s the best — or worst — time to do so.
It’s perfectly acceptable to want to share your successes with others. It can become a problem if you don’t do it the right way. But if you keep these tips in mind, you’ll be able to nicely brag without sounding like a complete jerk.
What is an accomplishment that you want to show off? Tweet us @VALLEYMag and let us know what you want to celebrate (we promise you won’t sound like a jerk!).
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