When we’re young, we look ahead to a future that we can curate to our wants and needs. We get to decide on a career path in college, which ultimately can take you anywhere in the world. This dream gets us through the long days of hard work, but what happens when the future arrives? In your 20s, you are choosing your path. Unfortunately, that path is much more lonely and hollow than it appears from a distance.
Life in your 20s is romanticized on television. It sets expectations that are impossible to live up to. While TV characters may be out at the bars until 2 a.m. every single night, many people are wiped out after their nine-to-five. And although fictional New Yorkers have apartments with lots of light and a gorgeous living room, the reality looks a lot more like a shoebox studio.
Several studies in recent years have found young adults, specifically 18-25, are the loneliest age group. According to a Harvard study, 61 percent of young adults during the pandemic reported feeling lonely very frequently. That number has decreased since then, but a mental health crisis is still going on.
Tips for Making Friends in Your 20s
Find social spaces, such as a bar or a cafe, that is catered to a niche you enjoy. For example, somebody queer may make friends at a queer bar where they will have things in common. So much of the battle is finding out where you fit in. Your identity is so fluid as a young adult that fitting in is one of the hardest things to do. Fortunately, as you get older and as you explore the world more, this will get easier.
Use Instagram to find social groups. This is a quick and easy trick to find something to do over the weekend and maybe make some new friends. There are many social groups for young adults to do fun things together like picnics, beach trips, ice skating, etc. Social media has made it easier to make connections in some ways, and this is one of the best. In a big city, there’s always people looking for new friends. These online chats make it easier to find each other.
Take the initiative. One of the biggest mistakes you make when you’re at social events is waiting for them to walk up to you. The social anxiety can be overwhelming at times. But if you never try, you will never know what kinds of connections you can make. Take the initiative by starting conversations and asking for phone numbers.
What do you think about making new friends after college? Find us on Instagram @valleymag and let us know!
