How to Properly Not Care

You don’t care. Well, maybe a little bit but it’s hard to care about some things with less than a month left. But there are ways to properly not care without hurting someone’s feelings or hurting your chances to keep up with schoolwork.

If you’re graduating, it’s easy to not care, especially if you’re just finishing up those last credits or already know you’re going to graduate school or have a job waiting for you. The future is secure so the present is a tad irrelevant right now. Especially that group project. That is something you really have to force yourself to care about. But remember that the last thing you need is to tank your graduation requirements by coming up short. This is the home stretch so hold in your joy about moving on to the next stage in your life and handle business. Otherwise you could come off as a cocky slacker and that’s not a cute look.

Even if you have more time left to enjoy Happy Valley, your mind may already be on a beach or at home or anywhere but in Thomas, listening to a lecture. But those final grades are necessary to cement your path for next year.

First, set your caring priorities straight. Having the energy to care about everything is exhausting and you want to save it for the important things. Going to class is important but don’t pour every ounce of your being into participating (unless it’s necessary but then only spare about a molecule). If you would rather go out for only an hour then do a Netflix binge, have at it. Use your energy wisely because there might be a last minute curveball you need to prepare for.

The second step in properly not caring is feigning interest. Whenever you feel your eyes rolling skyward, remember that you wouldn’t like it if someone did that to you every time you opened your mouth. If you want to roll your eyes, blink. Take an extra second and check your attitude. Save the spiciness for your last day, especially if it’s for someone you’ll never see again.

Third, check your mouth. It’s hard not to skip down Pollock Road, shouting, “I DON’T CARE!” sometimes. But people will get tired of hearing that. It’s hard to keep caring when enough people are so obviously not caring. We’re all in this not caring business together so we have to keep each other motivated enough to finish out the semester.

It’s tempting to say, “Girl, bye,” to all the boring, un-fun parts of college and just lay out on what’s left of the HUB lawn. But it’s that crunch time when a lot of assignments are due—but we’re close to the finish line! Stay strong and keep your rolling eyes in check.

Photo by Jose Ponte