Artist Christina Perri once said in her most famed song, “I’m only human,” illustrating the fragility of how living on this Earth can truly make us feel the weight of the world. We’re all guilty of taking the easy way out or making choices that feel good in the moment but certainly do not benefit us long term. Those are what can be described as hurting and healing behaviors.
“Hurting behaviors” are behaviors that might seem like a “quick fix” for whatever issue you’re trying to minimize, but in reality, they can be hurting more than helping you. It might not be affecting you physically, but rather mentally. Regardless of difficulty, it’s important to practice behaviors that protect your peace and make a difference in the long haul.
“Healing behaviors” can ultimately be the harder choice to make, but the hardest choices are always the best ones. Little fixes can really make all the difference in your life. VALLEY understands that actively making these choices isn’t easy, but the effectiveness will show and it will all be worth it.
Hurting Behavior: Checking Social Media Right When You Wake Up
The first thing many of us do in the morning is check our phone immediately. We begin to scroll through all our socials and get trapped in the “social media haze.” This might not seem like the biggest deal but what you feed your brain at the start of your day is more important than you’d assume. If the first thing you see is what everyone else is doing this can put you in a comparison mentality, which is no way to start a morning.
Healing Behavior: Going On your Phone After Your Morning Routine
We’ve become so accustomed to catching up on what we “missed” while sleeping, that we’re not focusing on the present and what the rest of the day brings. When you get up to do your morning routine, leave your phone somewhere in the midst of your bedsheets to avoid checking it while you get ready. Enjoy a peaceful, phone-free morning.
Hurting Behavior: Going Out Every Weekend
College is known as many people’s “party years.” While going out every weekend sounds good in theory, many college students express the setbacks and effects partying has on the body. If you’re constantly beside yourself for being hungover every Saturday and Sunday with a brain filled with “hangiexty,” you might want to reconsider how much you’re going out.
Healing Behavior: Spacing Out Your Social Events
Spacing out when you go out is a healthy habit that can be beneficial to your success both mentally and physically. Important social events are ones you should never miss out on. But, if you have a lot of work next week and can’t afford any mishaps you should consider staying in that one Saturday night. You’ll find that being cognizant of picking and choosing when you want to go out makes social events more special and rewarding.
Hurting Behavior: Quantity
Trying to obtain as many friends as you can in college is not a fun game and if you decide to play, you’ll most likely lose. The expression “quality over quantity” holds true for so many things in life. If you’re constantly trying to have this fun, big friend group it might backfire on you. Many college people express the issue with fake friends. Keep in mind that not everyone you meet in college has to be your bestie, so make sure you’re aware of how you meet “your people.”
Healing Behavior: Quality
Having a few friends who make you a better person and allow you to be yourself is better than 100 surface-level friends that you see from time to time. There’s nothing better than having a partner in crime who is there with you every step of the way and one you can celebrate all your life experiences with.
Hurting Behavior: People Pleasing
In good theory the act of “people pleasing” sounds positive, however, it can do more harm than good. Always saying “yes” in times when you’d rather say “no” could be very detrimental to yourself and well being. You’ll begin holding resentment towards the other person without them ever knowing. They’ll have no idea that you’re not happy about something since you’re masking a “no” with “yes.”
Healing Behavior: Standing Up For Yourself
As much as it’s hard to break the “people pleasing” cycle, a healthier practice is to begin doing things for yourself rather than others. Of course, it’s important to be kind and go the extra mile for others, but being kind to yourself should be your number one priority. Even if it pains you to speak up, your future self will thank you for taking a stand.
Hurting Behavior: Staying Sedentary
Nothing’s better than laying in bed all day on a cozy rainy Sunday and that’s exactly what you should be doing on a Sunday. However, during the week it’s important we’re not pretending every day is Sunday. Allowing yourself to have rest days is optimal for your overall wellness, but be mindful of how often you’re getting exercise and moving your body.
Healing Behavior: Staying Active
Staying active doesn’t mean running a marathon and lifting the heaviest weights you can. It can simply be walking with a friend or adopting an active hobby. This can include, tennis, pickleball, pilates, biking, etc. Moving your body every day is crucial to your mental and physical health. You’d be glad to see how much exercise is a natural stress reliever. It keeps your emotions in check and allows for a positive mindset to be fostered.
Have any other healing behaviors that need to be incorporated in life? Let us know by tweeting us @VALLEYmag on Twitter!
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