We all enter our revenge era when a break up ends messy or we are disappointed one too many times by the same average guy.
Post break-ups have its own five stages of grief in no particular order: revenge, uncontrollably crying, over-analyzing every scenario, wanting that person back, getting the ick and finally healing. As we enter stage revenge, our screen time can be higher than ever.
There is a sense of validation we receive from a high amount of likes and comments from friends and strangers, but those feelings last until our pages refresh and move onto the next. It is often we lose ourselves in an artificial storm of online validation that clouds the true healing process.
Silence IS a Reply
At times, we all want to send the lengthiest and nastiest text to that ex that expresses every thought and feeling without the suspense of their response. Although those multi-paragraph texts can give us a peace of mind, we end up giving in to repetitive conversations that rarely lead to resolution.
Try the silent route. Let the other person text their apologies, acknowledge it but do NOT reply. We do not owe responses to the people who have hurt us in the past. Silence can speak louder than that long response.
It leaves the other person questioning more about their text and original actions to cause our hurt to begin with. We regain our power over that ex and truly indulge in an IDGAF mentality.
Turn Public Thirst Traps Into Healing in Private
Now, VALLEY is all for a couple of thirst traps and looking our best on all the socials but it is also important to properly heal privately after. Publicizing our post-break-up self distracts us from processing and moving on to better things ahead of us.
It is okay to feel sad and cry! If we sit in our emotions, we can build a better understanding of our feelings and how to combat them in the future. Self-introspection leads to positive outcomes rather than suppressing any negative feelings.
As we learn more about our feelings, the next step is gearing our emotions into productive hobbies or outlets.
A great hobby to have is journaling as it gives us an outlet to express our minds free of judgment. Writing or typing in our notes app can release stress and anxiety from our pasts.
When our thoughts transfer to paper, we relieve our minds of the sticky emotions that have contaminated us.
Hard Times Remind Us of Great People in Our Lives
As our negative thoughts infest our heads with self-loathing and extreme despair, there are people in our lives at our sides pouring their love and support to fill up our hearts again.
We are all surrounded by love and people who truly have our best interests at heart. It can take a messy breakup to realize who we can rely on as that shoulder to cry on or rant endlessly about the same situation.
The person who exited our lives took their negative energy and left us with clear vision on all the positives in this lifetime. Our lives are filled richly with genuine people and it takes a small reminder to cherish them even more.
We thank all of the people who have wronged us as they allow us to protect our peace and withdraw all their bad energy.
Tweet @VALLEYmag on how you get revenge best, whether it’s playing the silent game or showing your best self on social media!
