It’s Not You, It’s Them

It’s a problem that not only Happy Valley faces, but a problem that every single or taken college student struggles with. The stigma of having someone.

Setting the scene is easy. Your sorority date doc comes out two months before your formal and somehow everyone is already filling it out. The panic sets in. How will you find someone in only two months? How are you the only one that doesn’t have someone? So, you settle. You take the frat guy you’ve already given a hundred chances to that still manages to mess up.

Spoiler Alert

You’re not the only one. It’s easy to assume that everyone has a significant other or even just a casual hook up that’s consistent, but that’s not the case. Falling into this mindset can be dangerous and detrimental to your mental health and self-respect.

From the Outside Looking In

It’s hard to see this though. When you’re in it, you have your rose-colored glasses on. The red flags just look like flags. You don’t see that you’re settling for less than you deserve. Remove yourself for a second. Take a minute to reflect, analyze, how is this person benefitting you? How are they holding you back?

I Don’t Care, I Love It

You may know you’re settling. You may be completely aware of what’s going on but for some reason, you can’t stop. It’s comfortable, it’s not new, it’s having someone. Why be with no one when you can at least be with someone? Everyone else has someone, right? Wrong.

The Hard Truth

Being comfortable with someone doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you. Just because they fill that void for you for a moment, doesn’t mean they should be there for the long hall. There’s a lot of shame surrounding this in college. No one is mature yet, people gossip and spread lies. It can feel embarrassing to end a relationship or even be single in general.

Cut yourself some slack. You’re only in college once. Enjoy these four years finding yourself. Read that again. Finding yourself. You can’t find yourself in someone else or in a partner. Take this time to grow and have fun.

It truly is a hard pill to swallow. Society is so adamant about being in love, never being alone and finding validation in having a partner. This is unrealistic and so far from the truth. Take that person off your back-burner, never settle, there should only be one plan, plan A.

What do you think about dating culture at Penn State? Let us know on Instagram @VALLEYmag!