Being afraid of things is an inevitability in most people’s lives. For a lot of us, though, it’s the inevitability itself that causes the fear. Aging is one such inevitable thing that seems to be so widely feared in society, if not the most. Growing older has its implications, of course, but the world seems to be near-obsessed with preventing it. It seems ironic, more than anything — we spend our childhoods waiting eagerly to grow up, but the second we step into adulthood, aging starts to come with dread.
The question is, why is that? Why do we spend hundreds of dollars on anti-aging products? Why does the slightest wrinkle turn into a time bomb? If time is precious, why not the times when we’re older? Maybe it’s the stigma, or maybe it’s deeper than that.
Beauty With Age
One of the most obvious implications of aging is this apparent loss of beauty. Wrinkles, loose skin, grey hair — the world seems to hammer it into our heads that that’s the worst possible outcome of life. As we grow older, the fear of waking up one day and seeing a “poorly” aged version of yourself in the mirror grows as well. The anti-aging industry has gotten to a point where the use of the products has started to seem less like a choice and more like a requirement. In fact, the industry has been predicted by some to return a revenue of more than $400 million. The beauty standard we consider almost always comes with the presumption that the person wanting to fit into it is youthful because that in itself is a standard.
In reality, though, growing older comes with growing more comfortable in yourself. Your body, your sexuality, your life in general and even your age. It’s important to remember that such industries are only really targeting the youth. We live in fear of something inevitable — inevitably peaceful, once we actually get there.
Gendered Ageism
“You never ask a woman her age.” Why, though? That question seems to be simultaneously answered and unanswered in several people’s minds. Society often comes with the notion that aging enhances men — gives them experience, a zing to life and whatnot — but, on the flip side, devalues women. It’s encouraged in men and vilified in anyone that isn’t one. Older women are seen as the likes of an old and haggard character like Mother Gothel, expected to seek eternal youth and therefore beauty, all while envying the young and already “beautiful.” Meanwhile, men are seen as “silver foxes” or as getting better with age. Like wine, almost. This, in turn, likely makes women a lot more susceptible to the fear of aging and all the notions that come with it.
While aging is seen as a negative overall, it’s women that are taught to fear it. The truth is, though, the older you get, the less any of this matters. In her TED talk, “Let’s End Ageism,” Ashton Applewhite talks about aging as something that just … happens. It’s not a problem to be fixed or a disease to be cured. To quote her, “Longevity is a fundamental hallmark of human progress.”
The Role of the Media
Surprise, surprise! The media might just be the biggest perpetrator in spreading the fear of aging among us. Lately, it’s starting to seem like the second someone — a woman, in particular, turns 30, the world considers them a fossil. Celebrities pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to keep their bodies and faces youthful in order to maintain their image. Female celebrities like Ariana Grande are criticized just for showing up in a picture with smile lines on their faces, while others, like Madonna, are pushed to get fillers and Botox in order to fight or prevent ageism in their industries.
Social media is no stranger to pushing beauty standards onto people, and the standard of looking youthful or “ageing gracefully” is, of course, included. Photo editing apps sometimes have features that allow you to smoothen your skin or reduce wrinkles, and young influencers are constantly promoting anti-aging products that might not even do what they’re supposed to and TikTok trends with aging filters that decide whether you’ve aged well or not go viral. With things being the way they are, we’re basically doomed to be afraid of growing older.
But, of course, do we have to be? Aging is inevitable, but that’s not inherently a bad thing. It’s a natural phase in our lives that needs to be cherished like every other. Old age is a culmination of the rest of the life you’ve lived — it’s where you get to sit back and relax and watch the product of your life unfold before you. Doesn’t really sound all that bad, does it?
Have you found yourself feeling a similar kind of fear? Let us know by tagging us @VALLEYmag on Instagram and Twitter!
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