As I approach a new decade in life, I cannot help but mourn the one before. My age no longer starts with the number one and I have been struggling with grappling this jump up the number line. My teenage years were ones that I will cherish and look back on forever. There was so much growth and joy that filled every year. As a means of closure for this crucial chapter of my life, I thought the best way to handle it was to write a love letter to it.
Dear Thirteen
At the ripe age of thirteen, I felt on top of the world. I could finally say I was a teenager and gained access to the exclusive club that consisted of what I saw as the coolest people I knew. I could get into a PG-13-rated movie and my mom bought me my first real bra. Though along with finally being a teenager, also came teenage insecurities. My body was starting to change … a lot. Like everyone else, I compared everything about myself to others around me. My body developed curves in areas I was not used to, which took some adjusting. If I had not experienced the awkward insecurities every thirteen-year-old girl goes through, I do not think loving myself now would feel as rewarding. The most beautiful thing to come out of insecurities is the lesson of loving yourself.
Welcome to High School
Fast forward two years to fifteen … the start of high school. Freshman year was one of the most intimidating and tough transitions thus far. Your world is opened up to an entirely different universe. There are friend groups, rumors, parties and dating. That is a really scary sentence and it is probably because navigating it was really scary. Your life starts to revolve around who you hang out with and what you do on the weekends. At fifteen, this feels like the most important thing ever. I can confidently say now that none of those matters, though I know five years ago I would have rolled my eyes and brushed that advice off. Since then, I have learned that it is not important if you are in a popular group, or you went to a big party that weekend. I now value the friendships I have and welcome anyone who brings me joy. I have learned how to prioritize my happiness over what others think or say and life that way is drastically more rewarding.
Sixteen Candles
The next year is one of the most important of the teens … sixteen. I learned to drive with my dad in the passenger seat, death grip on the grab handle. He would always have a calm tone, but I could tell on his face he was nervous. Fortunately for him, my issue was not speeding, but rather going almost twenty miles below the speed limit … and I would get so anxious when people rode my tail. Since the day I finally got my license, I felt as though I was finally sitting in the driver’s seat of my life. I had newfound freedom, aside from the curfew and one-passenger limit of course. Sixteen brought the first real feeling of being older and having legitimate responsibilities. I wish then I would have recognized how often life goes over the speed limit and that soon enough I was a senior in high school.
Me? A Legal Adult? … As If
By the time I turned eighteen, I began to learn and develop into who I recognize myself as now. I started to find interest outside of school and with friends. I became a runner and I started making art and writing for fun. I became more comfortable with spending time with myself and I was prioritizing the important things in life. I graduated high school with an amazing support system of family, friends and mentors by my side. I then moved to college and continued to discover so much about my interests and happiness. Looking back, eighteen was probably my favorite age as a teen. I owe so much growth and love in my life to that year.
Thank You
I recently saw a quote by George Eliot that read, “We could have never loved the Earth so well if we had no childhood in it.” This is just as true for your teenage years as it is for your childhood. The lessons you learn as a teenager help progress your life going forward. The struggles you go through then help develop the person you will be ten, twenty and even fifty years from now. If I had not lived through the friendships, young love, or each big event as a teenager, I would not value what I know now half as much. Not to say that I have everything figured out … I am only twenty of course. But as I enter my twenties and the pivotal decade that steers the ship onto the course toward the rest of my life, I can only reflect and appreciate the anchor my teenage years instilled in me.
All my love,
Erin
P.S.
Dear twenties, please treat me as well as my teenage years did. I’ll forever cherish them.
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