From an outsider’s point of view, Carly Sotack is happiness personified – but that is not all there is to her story.
“I think I was in eighth grade, that’s when [depression and anxiety] started. I didn’t really realize what it was because I was so young and I didn’t talk to anybody about it until my sophomore year of high school. I told my mom and that is when I started to get help,” she says.
Anxiety consumed Carly’s brain from a young age until it began to lead to depression. Stuck in a place where every minute detail of your life is talked about and spread from one classroom to the next, she felt alone, isolated and unable to escape.
Coming off of a hard breakup at the end of sophomore year of high school, Carly was cut off by all her friends, as they all sided with her ex-boyfriend. Most of her high school joined in on the isolation and at the end of her second year, she was left with no one.
“That was the summer of 2020 and then that December, I attempted suicide.”
Following the attempt, Carly began getting the help she needed which wasn’t an easy journey by any means. It took years for her to become the person she is today and still continues to work through her struggles.
“When I graduated high school, I was sobbing. My friend was holding me and I remember saying ‘I didn’t think I was going to be here,’” she says. When she reflects now, as a 20-year-old, she is in disbelief of the experiences she might not have had or the people she would have never met.
Carly Sotack
“I’m so happy now. I came to college and met the best people I’ve ever known. My roommates are like my sisters, I love them so much. So, I am really happy that I stuck it out and came to college and met new people,” she says.
Along with the people in her life, Carly finds solace from one of the things that brought her out of the darkness — therapy.
“Being in therapy is actually my saving grace.” Her goal after college is to go to grad school for either clinical or counseling therapy and eventually open her own practice as a child therapist.
“I have learned in therapy that a lot of my issues now are from my childhood. I just really love kids and I don’t want them to grow up and feel the way I did. I want to help them while they are still growing and teach them how to cope with certain emotions. If they are going through serious family issues, I want to be someone that is there for them, a safe space.”
Today, Carly continues to learn ways of understanding herself, by asking herself what she wants and doesn’t want. One of the ways she is doing it is by making it a priority to surround herself with people who uplift and support her.
“My mom is the greatest role model in guiding me in the right direction. She is the strongest person I know. She goes through a lot of mental stuff but never shows it which is so crazy because you would never think that of her. That is why I look up to her,” she says.
Reflecting on her mother’s support, Carly recalls a time when she called her mom at the pond near the Alumni Center. She showed her the ducks through the phone and when her mom came up a few weeks later, she brought with her a two-pound bag of duck food for Carly to feed them.
It is the little things that Carly knows to look for in the people she associates with and by doing so, simultaneously becomes that person for others. Everyone’s story shapes them into the person they become, and Carly has found ways to help others who have also struggled with their mental health.
“It sounds so generic to say but I promise it will get better. You are too young to think it is not going to yet. You have so much ahead of you, you just need to wait it out and persevere through it, even though it’s so fucking hard,” she says.
When Carly looks into the future she sees happiness. She sees a job that helps people, a love that grows and children she can support.
“I never used to see any of that, really. But now, it is all I think about. I eventually really want kids. I feel like that alone shows how much you can grow. That now, I want to take care of other people and I want to take care of myself.”
Carly Sotack
