When you grow up in Pennsylvania, you grow up hearing about THON. My school district held “Mini THON” when I was in middle school, people would fundraise for their organizations outside the restaurant I worked at in high school and through years of hand-me-downs and Goodwill trips, I accumulated my fair share of THON t-shirts well before I ever thought about attending Penn State.
When you are a senior in high school, deciding what college you are going to go to is one of the biggest choices you have ever been faced with at that point. Essay after essay, GPA calculator after GPA calculator, you are looking at your future head on and if you were anything like me, you were pretty intimated by the stare down.
While thinking about my future, I was simultaneously watching my dear friend lose hers. My brilliant and beautiful friend had been diagnosed with cancer.
I will never be able to properly articulate what grief is. Nothing I try to say or write will ever do the heartbreak that so many people have had to endure justice, so this past February, I decided to dance.
They say you can’t explain what THON is like until you see it for yourself, but I have experienced it three years in a row and I still struggle to accurately encapsulate the magic that occurs in the Bryce Jordan Center every February. Everyone is just a few blocks from their apartments, and their class buildings are down the street, but this familiar territory transforms into an atmosphere that is other-worldly.
THON is unifying and crucial. It’s not just a weekend—it is an escape, a goal and a reminder all in one. THON teaches perspective, humbleness and grit.
Dancing is intimidating. In the weeks leading up to THON, everyone is nervous, but no one really wants to admit it. It is physically and emotionally exhausting and it is the best weekend at Penn State.
The weekend I spent dancing served as my most sincere thank you to my organization, as they taught me to do good with my grief. Dancing was my way of honoring my THON family, for their unwavering braveness is inspiring. Dancing was my time with my angel, as her and everyone else’s loved ones was right there with us the entire time.
I feel overwhelmingly grateful to have been a part of something much bigger than myself. Every time I have said I go to Penn State I have said it with immense pride and that has only furthered now that dancing in THON makes up part of my time here. I feel proud of my school, my org, the families and all my fellow dancers and participants. I feel comfort for my senior year self, as she made the right decision what feels like long ago. My heart longs for a friend, forever and always, and I feel grateful to keep her spirit alive.
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