Have you ever found it hard to say no to your friends, classmates or family members? Have you been put in uncomfortable situations like: “Can you give me the answers?”, “Will you do this for me?” and other things that make you feel uneasy? If so, don’t worry. VALLEY has some tips that will help you set boundaries and say “no” while still maintaining those relationships.
Think about what they are asking
When placed in an uncomfortable situation, the first thing to do is to think about what the person is asking you. Are they asking you to cheat, lie or do something that is against your values? Are they asking you to do something that is stressful and more work for you than it is for them? Will doing what they are asking you to do have repercussions? Also, consider the motives behind what that person is asking you. Do they really need your help, or are they just being lazy? These are all questions you should consider before replying.
Do you want to do it?
Even if your values and goals align with what someone may be asking you, it’s still okay to say no. If your friends want to go out but you’ve had a long day and just aren’t in the mood, it’s okay to say no. Good friends will have your back and support you throughout all seasons of your life.
How do I say no?
If you don’t want to do something, recognize that it is okay! You are not obligated to do certain things just because you are in a relationship, friendship or class. However, it is important to learn how to say no in a way that is firm yet kind. Here’s how to do so:
- Say it nicely! You should try to be kind when saying no, especially to friends and family members. For example, when asked to do something you’re not comfortable with or don’t want to do, simply say: “Sorry, I don’t want to,” or “Sorry, I don’t feel comfortable doing that.”
- Remember that “no” is a complete sentence! Though you may feel the need to explain why you won’t be going to a certain party or why you won’t be giving them your notes before the test, always remember that “no” is a complete sentence. You aren’t obligated to explain yourself if you don’t want to do something.
Setting boundaries while maintaining friendships
Here’s the thing … saying no can be hard, especially when you are saying it to someone that you love. Always remember that a good friend will have your back. Setting boundaries and saying “no” early on prevents people from walking on and attempting to take advantage of you down the road. Remember that you should always reciprocate the kind of respect that you want to be given yourself. If someone tells you no, respect that too!
What are your tips on setting healthy boundaries? Let us know @VALLEYmag on X!
