Many of us are people-pleasers. We want everyone around us to be happy no matter what, and because of that, we agree to doing things that might stretch us thin just because we are so afraid of saying “no.” The situation is made worse when the favors are requested by those close to us, because the last thing we want to do is let them down. The people-pleaser trait within us often causes us to move around our schedules, undergo undue stress and sacrifice our time just to avoid the worry of upsetting others.
VALLEY wants you to realize that there is nothing wrong with saying no, even to your closest friends. In order to maintain your sanity, you have to prioritize yourself and your time. That doesn’t mean you can’t ever do favors for others, but only do them when you won’t be sacrificing your time and mental health in the process.
Suggest an Alternative Person or Solution
Say you have a specific skill, such as graphic design or video editing or being fantastic at computer science. If someone comes to you and asks for your help knowing that you have this specific skill, you can always suggest someone else with a similar skill set who can help. It’s likely that you know people who can do the same things that you can because you are in the same field, but that doesn’t mean that your friend asking for the favor has an unlimited supply of people they can go to for help with this specific thing. Suggesting an alternative person or solution is helpful in itself, and it saves you a lot of time that you may not have.
Explain Your Situation
Chances are, if you explain your situation to the person who asked you to do a favor, they won’t be upset in the slightest that you are not able to help them out. A lot of people pleasers are worried what others will think if they are not available to complete a task. But the truth of the situation is that the person asking the favor likely would not have asked in the first place if they knew how pressing it would be to you. Communication is key in all situations, and if you are really close with someone, they will understand why you can’t always do what they ask from you.
No Means No
You have to look out for yourself first and not worry about people you don’t think will take no for an answer. You don’t owe your time and your effort to everyone, and if you simply have to say no with no explanation, there is nothing wrong with that. We live in a society in which the lines are sometimes blurred between yes and no when they shouldn’t be, and we all need to start accepting “no” as a full sentence and a final answer. You are entitled to however many “no”s you need, and don’t ever forget that.
