Everyone is somewhat familiar with the phrase, “When you look at someone with rose-colored glasses, all of the red flags just look like flags.” You might think to yourself, “Hey, I’m not wearing rose-colored glasses! I don’t know anyone that has ever blindsided me before!”
Enter your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Now, you might be a little quiet.
The Past
It’s the time to celebrate Valentine’s Day and love is in the air at State College. But everyone knows that with love, comes heartbreak. And everyone remembers their first, true heartbreak.
Chances are, a name popped right into your head while reading that sentence. Everyone knows a person from their past who has done damage to their character that nobody else can match. It could be your last relationship or maybe even your last situationship.
Maybe this person was the guy you went on one date with and accidentally fictionalized an entire relationship within your head. Or, it was the girl you swore you would marry, only to realize long-distance was actually a lot harder than people made it out to be.
Regardless, this person is infamous in the story of your life. They led you on. They manipulated you. They simply became a dead end to you. You had to let them go for the greater good.
But, did you really let them go?
The Present
College dating culture is the trickiest to navigate. Signals are mixed, intentions are lost and messages are construed. Dating apps like Tinder and Hinge try to help level the playing field, but they only give students a platform to alter what they really want.
Are you going to meet your soulmate on a dating app in State College? Probably not. Will you keep swiping until you’re convinced otherwise? Of course. The rose-colored glasses not only fail to reveal any red flags; it seems like all of your matches look a little bit like your ex.
It’s easy for you to blame it on “your type.” That guy you have been texting sends you funny messages just like your ex. Who can blame you? You like funny guys! Or, that girl you hung out with once has a nose piercing just like your ex. Obviously, that’s just your type in women.
This whole process can seem intimidating. You don’t know where it could go or how it could go. The whole “dating new people” thing seems so exhausting, it makes you want to crawl back to that person who wronged you more times than you can count.
The Future
VALLEY intends to send a clear message that this behavior might seem like the easiest route, but in reality, it’s the rockiest. You’re not just revisiting the person who did you the dirtiest; you’re revisiting those memories as well. And, why would you want to revisit that?
This person made you cry. They made your friends drive over to assure you that they were the problem, not you. They made you beg for the slightest bit of attention. This person made you question who you are as a person. Why would you even want to give them a second thought?
The key to meeting your dream partner is leaving the past behind you. Trust VALLEY when we say that blocking that person’s social media and cutting off all ties will tremendously benefit you in the long run. Delete their number, clear your head and embrace the freedom!
As corny as it may sound, there is a person out there who is everything you wanted your ex to be and more. Yes, they will take you out to dinner without texting other girls behind your back. They won’t leave you on delivered for hours wondering if you did anything wrong. Love and relationships are supposed to be easy, though many might be surprised to hear it.
The easy parts of love may not come tomorrow or next week or even months from now. But when you’re least expecting it, someone will come around to take the rose-colored glasses right off your face.
Have you successfully taken off the rose-colored glasses? Tweet @VALLEYmag on X with your thoughts!
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