Surviving a Penn State Zombie Apocalypse

2008 may have begun the era of the vampire with everyone’s favorite book series (Twilight, of course), but 2014 so far has definitely been the year of the zombie, and what’s not to love? They’re literally dead, walk around, eat people and turn you into them. It’s terrifying and also at the same time undoubtedly fascinating. However, what’s even more terrifying is the possibility of a real zombie apocalypse.

With AMC’S The Walking Dead season four finale finally upon us, Valley decided to explore the possibility of an attack happening at Penn State, and talk some students to see how they would handle this new life. So load up on your weapons, and get ready to use that cardio, because we’re about to take on the end of the world together. 

1. Seriously, just stay off Pollock Road

Seriously, even if you haven’t been a fan of TWD, and have yet to see a single zombie movie, common sense should tell you to stay off the main roads. Walking onto Pollock Road would literally be walking into a death trap, as walkers would be fixated there– especially in front of the HUB, where noise and action are pretty much non-stop. Of course, since Pollock Road is the center of everything, you would need to use it at some point. The good news is that pretty much every building ever is on Pollock Road, so maybe using buildings as escape routes could help you survive. Maybe.

2. Seek buildings on higher ground

Survival tip number two besides stay off the main roads would definitely be to seek on-campus buildings with higher floors to take temporary shelter in. For Nate Lattig, Penn State sophomore, Osmond Building would be the obvious choice. “Osmond is old construction. Its sturdy, not filled with glass doorways and even has a multitude of double doored entrances with thick wooden doors making it fairly easy to barricade,” Lattig says. “But another reason this is a good location is that it is supposedly one of the buildings connected to the underground tunnels that run through campus, or the heated vents, making it extremely safer than say trying to walk down Pollock road filled with zombies. The tunnels supposedly are connected to buildings like the HUB and Hammond, which will give you access to downtown without trotting through campus.”

3. Dining halls at least have food

In times of crisis, having a 100% secure place can conflict with other basic human needs, like the need for food and water. So if you’re on campus during this attack, it is imperative to keep access to these things in mind, even if it takes place over being higher ground at all times. Tami Bastos, a Penn State senior, said that Findlay Commons would be here place to go for the means of surviving.  “I would most likely look for shelter at Findlay commons, especially 2nd floor. It is high up, and I would be able to see everything for above, but I would also be able to lock the doors on the ground floor, protecting it from the zombies,” Bastos says. “But the most important part, Findlay would have plenty of food and water.”

4. Secure yourself around potential weapons

Besides food and higher ground, the next thing you need to think of while embracing the end of the world is access to weapons. Obviously as college students, we’re not all abound with gun permits and a stellar blade collection, so part of where you choose to run to (because you clearly can’t stay in the same spot) should have some sort of a way to protect yourself. “I would make my way to to the meat labs outside near Beaver Stadium, since they have tools there that could be used as weapons,” junior Kayla Fox says. “Also, it would somewhat have a decent supply of food that could last a while until I’d have to go find more.”

Photo by Jonathan Hsieh