“Yeah, I was such an awkward teen — I mean, look at what I was wearing in that picture!” “I want to travel back in time and keep myself from wearing that embarrassing One Direction hoodie to school.” “I can’t believe I used to wear my makeup like that; I was making such a fool of myself.”
It’s become so mundane to say such things, hasn’t it? Scrolling through old photos, cringing at the outfit choices, the questionable haircuts, the unshakable obsession with a band, or whatever it is that defined your middle school years. We’ve all had our “What was I thinking?” moments; something that might flash through your mind as you cringe at the person that now feels light-years away from who you are.
But here’s the truth: that was still you.
It’s easy to detach from those younger versions of ourselves and frame them as separate people, to see them as awkward ghosts haunting the polished and self-aware adults we’ve become. Yes, you’ve changed, grown and evolved — but every awkward outfit, every phase, every embarrassing crush played a role in shaping who you are today. We each leave behind a trail of stories from our lives when we step into our futures, but those stories are the building blocks for that path to begin with.
Growth Isn’t a Rejection of Your Past
We often look back at our lives with a critical eye, forgetting that back then, we were doing the best we could with what we knew. Learning to embrace your younger self is ultimately about acceptance, not perfection. Growing up doesn’t mean erasing past mistakes or pretending those versions of ourselves didn’t exist.
It means acknowledging that we weren’t always who we are now and recognizing that those awkward phases are a natural part of life. We are not completely different people — we are continuous versions of ourselves, evolving with time. Every version of you, no matter how awkward, has something to teach you.
Forgiving Your Younger Self
By accepting who you were at every stage, the next thing to do is to forgive yourself for the choices you made. Both, the small and the significant. It’s easy to critique your past with the wisdom and self-awareness you have today, but it’s important to remember that your younger self didn’t have the knowledge you do now.
You were figuring things out, navigating new experiences and trying to understand who you were — and that’s okay. Your awkward past isn’t a stranger, it’s someone to be fondly looked upon with the knowledge that they made you, you.
Claiming Your Journey
To truly come to terms with your past would mean acknowledging that your journey is one of progression, not rejection. Embrace those embarrassing stories, the awkward phases and the cringe-worthy fashion choices — they’re all part of your personal evolution. Learning to accept and love every stage of who you’ve been will make you more compassionate toward yourself and others.
Because in the end, who you were wasn’t so different after all. That was you, too.
How do you see your awkward teen years? Let us know @VALLEYmag on Instagram or X!
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