Social hierarchies are everywhere you look. Whether that’s in the workplace, college, relationships or friendships, we find ourselves allured to status. Something about a person who is of high quality and prestige is enticing to the human mind.
Attraction is more than what’s on the surface. You can be attracted to elements of someone’s personality, demeanor and high status. All of that to say putting looks aside, someone’s status becomes more and more desirable, fabricating a “more attractive” version of themself.
We all know the basic law of attraction. “You attract what you are.” However, when it comes to the attraction of status, is it true attraction or just vanity?
Study of The Mind
Dating and relationship coach Pat Stedman mentions why women or those who are attracted to men are drawn to a title or become status-seeking in their relationships.
“Consciously or not, they gravitate towards men who have popularity, riches and fame … and if in a relationship, desire that their men achieve higher status himself,” says Stedman.
The term “gold digger” speaks for itself. There is some conceit to those who are attracted to those with high status. Stedman draws on this concept and explains the dimensions of this preference.
“Status is a good thing and all men should aim to expand it, but because of these considerations, status is also a double-edged sword. For as you become more desirable, people care less about you and more about what you provide. Women love status, but they may not love the man who holds it,” says Steadman.
The Internal Issue
There’s a point of wondering if being with a partner of high status alleviates the heaviness of our own insecurities. In simplest terms, if we’re ones with lower quote-on-quote “status,” having a partner that we deem a “worthy” title will essentially make us feel better about our own selves.
This can be a slippery slope if you’re only with a person for their status. When you truly love a person, their ranking doesn’t matter and that shouldn’t be the only reason you’re with a person. It’s crazy how warped our minds can become solely on status. You can easily tell when someone is with their partner merely for their repute.
The External Issue
Our dating world has developed into a totally different sphere than it was 100 or so years ago. People’s preferences, gender roles and expectations are all changing as we progress. Stedman tracks this evolution and why women and those attracted to men love status.
“As we have evolved, what we are attracted to has evolved too. Today, we care about things like conversational chemistry, sexual polarity, intellectual ability, humor, empathy, etc. – the list is potentially endless. Yet all of that is of fairly recent importance – back in the day, our more primitive brain was very simple in its tastes,” says Stedman.
When looking for love we all want the “cream of the crop.” You know what people say, “Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.” Attraction comes in all shapes and sizes and the psychology of the enticement behind status is certainly one of a kind.
Are you a victim of going for status? Let us know by tweeting us @VALLEYmag on Twitter!
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