If you haven’t heard it already, romance is dead. From college hookup culture to trial and error with online dating, that Noah and Allie love just doesn’t seem achievable anymore. Many have had to change their perspectives on love, which has been spiraling on TikTok. Those who have loved and lost, and even those who have never loved at all, have participated in a new TikTok trend expressing their new attitudes towards love. The trend highlights the end of the “lover girls and boys,” and a new era of self-love for young adults.
The TikTok Trend
This trend has been all over the “For You” page of TikTok, where people of all genders, with women being the dominate users, have shown off their newfound individualism. This trend stems from Drake’s three most recent albums titled “Certified Lover Boy,” “Honestly, Nevermind” and “Her Loss.”
The trend typically begins with a photo of the user and their ex with a caption like: “I used to be a certified lover girl.” Then the user inserts several individual pictures of themselves with the following captions on each: “but…” “honestly, nevermind” and “his loss.” This ultimately shows the user’s progression into finding themselves after a breakup and becoming more confident in themselves.
Self Love vs. Romantic Love
This trend illustrates the transition from romanticism to individualism. While many in this generation grew up on love stories, whether it was in the movies or in music, young adults are beginning to realize love is not as simple as Disney made it out to be. However, this realization may be leading people into a healthier mindset. These young adults are becoming more comfortable and confident in themselves as singles instead of feeling dependent on someone else. While some are still in their “lover girl” era, those who packed up their hopeless romantic selves have been able to start their journey of self-love.
However, this new era is a double-edged sword. On one hand, people are beginning to love themselves as individuals, but on the other hand, love and romance are dying out. Because a Tinder hookup is more common than a sit-down dinner date these days, this notion of romance is becoming unrealistic. People are forgetting about the flowers, dancing and the art of asking someone out that previous generations lived by. Instead, people have become lazy when it comes to finding someone. And oh-so-many fall victim to the modern “exclusive but not dating” relationships that are way more popular than they should be. Can romance be revived or is this the end of it?
While the end of the “lover girl” era is a healthy way to find/love yourself, love has become more uncommon in our society. Is it possible to have both love for yourself and love for someone else? Do we have to choose?
Tweet us, @VALLEYmag, with your opinions on the “death of the lover girl.”
