The first article I ever wrote for The Single Girls of State was an investigative story of sorts. After watching men fumble on dating apps, ( one right after the other, consecutively, in a row) I decided that the only thing that was going to make me feel better was to not date at all. My resolution was to delete my dating apps, bury my head in the sand and wait for these boys to quit acting up. That only lasted about a month (suffocation and whatnot) but I learned a lot about the unspoken rules of college dating and why new year’s resolutions are not for the faint of heart.
A year later, my resolution is much more broad and hopefully more attainable. My goal for 2023 is to stop letting boys disturb the peace. I never thought I was the type of girl who cared much about the comings and goings of boys- until I did.
Last year, I had the misfortune of falling hard. This rare occurrence left me pacing my room, writing multiple drafts of a single text message and bursting into tears every time “Don’t You” came on shuffle. It happens to the best of us. The problem here is that I had no idea I was acting like such a loser.
One day, I ran into some tough love via my roommates. They were tired of hearing about it (rightfully so) but they were absolutely exhausted by my inability to listen to their advice. After a few weeks of this they sat me down for a chat. They explained to me that I hadn’t been acting like my bad bitch self. If Carrie Bradshaw has taught me ANYTHING, it’s that no boy is ever worth the intervention.
Nowadays, TikTok is oversaturated with dating advice and the psychological breakdowns of the male mindset. That’s great and all, but I often find myself questioning why any of that matters. If you are scouring the internet to figure out if the guy you’re talking to is into you, he’s not. And again, if you aren’t listening to your friends advice, for the love of god stop listening to that tarot card reader on your for you page.
If he tells you he’s into you but continually embarrasses the shit outta you, you have a choice. You can continue to get dogged to the point of an intervention OR decide that you just aren’t that into them. If it costs you your peace, it costs too much.
My advice for maintaining your own peace of mind in 2023 is twofold:
- When he likes you, you’ll know
- “We don’t really need them to live.”- Mommy Cher
All of the things we want these boys to do are things we didn’t really need them for anyway. Remember that next time you are wondering why he hasn’t asked you on a date to that coffee shop you keep telling him about or why he hasn’t bought you flowers. A year from now you aren’t going to remember all of the shitty things these boys did, but you are going to remember if you let it ruin your entire day. In 2023, it is essential that we recognize our own worth ( I gagged twice when I wrote that but its the truth).
What’s your resolution for this year? Message @Valleymag on Instagram and let us know!
4 Comments