The Stages of Crushing on your TA

Admitting you have a crush may sound juvenile when you say it out loud (obviously boys don’t have cooties), but there’s no harm in a little window shopping every once in awhile. It’s innocent fun and makes you feel like a kid again, which is a nice refresher when hooking up is the norm nowadays. But what happens when your new eye-candy is a case of Romeo and Juliet-esque forbidden love? Well, at least until the semester ends. That’s right, I’m talking about crushing on your TA.

Sylly Week

Okay, new semester, new class. Awkward. I don’t know anyone. Where am I supposed to sit? What if there’s a group project?! Act like you know what you’re doing. Who’s that guy sitting in the front? He may be the most attractive human being I have ever seen. Except for Leo DiCaprio–no one beats Leo DiCaprio. FOCUS. BE COOL. Casually sit a couple seats away. Hold up. Why is he standing up? Everyone’s already sitting, chill out dude. Oh my god, he’s my TA? If he and I got married our babies would have good looks and brains. He’s THE ONE.

Before your first exam

Is it weird I’ve gone to an alarming amount of his office hours? Do you think he knows my name? I should’ve gotten coffee before class. He probably thinks I’m so stupid. He’s obviously really intelligent and just yes please. I wonder what year he is? Is he graduating? That would be sad. Please don’t graduate. God would be pulling a really cruel joke on me if you’re graduating. A casual Facebook creep never hurt anyone, right? You’re a junior? Thank you, Jesus. I owe you one. Wait, we have an exam next week?

Midterms

My stupid TA and his stupid good looks. If he wasn’t so good looking, maybe I could concentrate more. I should have dropped this class. I go to office hours and he makes it so hard to concentrate with his Ryan Gosling hair and dreamboat eyes. He could tone it down a bit with the attractiveness, ya know, to spare the weak. UGH I JUST WANT TO DROP OUT AND LIVE WITH MY PARENTS FOREVER WHY DID I GO TO COLLEGE I’M SUCH A BAD TESTER YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME NOTHING…it’s okay, I still love you though. Wait, what?

After Thanksgiving/Spring Break

I need Dunkin’ and I need it now. Oh lawdy, he’s in line. Do I look okay? I look great. No, I look terrible. Aw, he likes Dunkin’ too? BABE. Clearly it’s meant to be. Do I go say hi? Ask him how his break was? No, that’s weird. He’s kind-of-sort-of-not-really-but-actually-is my teacher. Keep your distance, girl. Keep it PG. I should really do my homework.

Finals

Stop standing over my shoulder with your hawk-eye, dude. I studied DAYS for this exam and I don’t need your cologne clouding my judgment. Not cool. But you smell nice. But leave me alone. This is the one time I don’t want you staring at me. But stare at me all you want, I’m cool with it. Oh. This is the last time I’ll see you this semester. Sad day. Am I supposed to say goodbye or like, shake your hand, or tell you how much of a good TA you are? No, I’m not an idiot. I should concentrate. Okay, I’m done. I’m gonna resist the urge to make out with your face, and I’m gonna walk out of here while I still can. I wonder if I’ll have a TA next semester?

Photo by Victoria Oberdorf