Situationship: when two people get together, hook up, are exclusive but not exclusive at the same time, aren’t dating but can be seen together in public. Makes total sense, right?
Pausing and reflecting can be the hardest thing to do in college. Whether that be giving thought to yourself, the people around you or the type of person you are when you’re around those people, it’s never easy.
But sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back, look around and reflect.
We’re talking about situationships here. The ever so confusing back and forth. What are we? What aren’t we? It’s a constant battle in your mind. Some might see a situationship and assume the low commitment, casual hook-up with some feelings sounds right up their alley. News flash: it’s your living hell. Here’s how to navigate your time down under:
Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun!
Communication is probably the most important part of going through this confusing time. It can be hard to navigate the “relationship” already with so many blurred lines, take away communication and you’re blind. Boundaries should be set. Yes, I know what you’re thinking: how can I set boundaries on something that doesn’t exist to begin with? Talk to them! Establish that you are both in the know of your intentions with each other.
Cheating? But not cheating? Betrayal?
Another blurred line in a situationship (of course): exclusivity. This is relative when it comes to a situationship. I’d say for most, they’re exclusive and if not officially, assumed to be. So, you find out your someone hooked up with someone else or are juggling someone else on the side. You think you’re stuck. You’re not. They’re doing you a favor. Call it quits. Now usually I’m not so quick to give up on someone, but I think betrayal is an exception that most can agree with. Titles or not, if they really cared about you like they’re most likely claiming to, you wouldn’t be just one of many to them.
Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
I know, this person makes you feel so comfortable. They already know everything about you, so why start over? Why open yourself up to someone new and start all over again? It’s easy to convince yourself that they’re going to change, but this can take a toll on you. Finally being able to let go and move on is shockingly refreshing if you try it. It’s scary to take a giant leap like this, but you won’t regret it. It’s more likely you will regret staying and continuing the toxic cycle.
I’m assuming you’re reading this and it’s resonating with you in some way, shape or form. To those that are still here, take my advice. Leave them in the past. If it’s toxic, quit them cold turkey and do no contact. You can’t be half in, half out in situationships, that always leads to you spiraling. Do your future self a favor and move on.
Am I telling you not to be in a situationship at this point? Yes. But, as cliché as this sounds, everyone needs to experience it at some point in their life. That weird middle between talking and dating can be a black hole for many, but for some, the beginning of a beautiful relationship. You never know.
But, you do know yourself and what you deserve. Keep that in mind when navigating a situationship.
Message us more advice you have for people in situationships, @VALLEYmag on Instagram!
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